There is always something or another

Hi its been so long, where has the time gone, I won’t bore you as I have a headache just thinking about it.  But here is a little !!!

The last few weeks things have been a little crazy with the house move and my poor father been in and out of hospital since Christmas.

Now we have moved things should improve?  or so I was told from our last contact we had with a social worker (back in October 2012) her words were   “once you move Archie’s sleep issues will be resolved”  I asked my self how?

So yes we are in the new house and Archie has a big enough room to do any adaptations too it, and yes having the lift is amazing and also having a staircase wide enough and not steep Archie can practise them and is doing very well with this. We are only 7 weeks in to the house move and sleep is now worse, of course it would be because its new surroundings, But yesterday we had the arrival of a new bed that doubles up as a changing table and moves up and down. we had the OT come out and talk about the options of padding his room and things are going ahead with that, great finally after 4 years, wouldn’t do it in the old house because we were moving to a purpose-built fully adaptable home didn’t think it would take 4 years to get in though.

In the meantime while waiting for the house to be built by our local housing association  we went through a pilot for individual budgets in social care and due to our difficulties with sleep I asked if we could use the allocated hours we were already receiving as a (direct payment to spend on a short breaks) could be used on some designated over nights.

The answer was no !  I have written other posts about this http://wp.me/p28kuB-6P

We are still waiting answers,  Today I received a few calls and still no one has answers to why I can’t spend it on respite. Then next phone call was from the admin lady at the complaints department telling me she had received a e-mail asking for up date not sure who was asking her but I didn’t like what she told me next, that my stage 2 complaint I started in December 2012 against the social care was again delayed due to staff redundancies and no services managers available to review the reports (judicate review)  that had been filed. If you are not aware the guidance is 25 working days start to finish but not in my case its been 21 weeks,  I am not allowed to see the report until a service manager has had time to respond, nor can I go to stage 3 until I receive the report. With all this going on and no social worker or key worker things started to get hard I was juggling been a parent, a carer, an advocate and a keyworker and all my time is taken up with phone calls, e-mails, meetings, my work as a parent went on the back burn and I don’t mean I neglected them so they became “AT RISK”. I just meant the everyday things you do as a parent, and the bits like  having fun, days out, the cuddles on the sofa, instead any spare time I get its spent reading, planning, doing accounts for the PAs I employ or trying to even find a PA the therapy, skilling myself up in areas that would help me understand the systems, and the law, I often find myself up against. I ask whether the new reforms is all it’s cracked up to be right now I feel they are setting families up to fail. personalization maybe on the governments agenda but the local authority in my area thought they were ready and at one point I would have said yes they were , I played a great part in parent participation and sat on the steering groups took part in helping the LA apply for pathfinder status ( and we are one)  how ever all the people who were the driving force behind moving forward have now either retired or made redundant or moved onto other areas and jobs, so what now I really don’t know,  I am scared because for 4 years these people have worked hard , I have worked hard engaging in the local parent forum working in partnership with services and building my skills and resilience and now today I have been told personal budgets isn’t happening anymore it was a pilot and it’s too complicated so we aren’t doing them.

I ask myself why I bothered like I have asked myself so many times. I believe this is the way forward I do I really do especially to achieve better outcomes for families and disabled children but not at the expense of a persons mental health, or even that of a sibling that feels so neglected that his mums time is spent so much fighting battles.

Yes we have moved to a house that meets Archie’s needs now and can do in the future but does it meet my needs and my other childs needs maybe it doesn’t. We now have a new fight because this house is further away from Archie’s special school and transport wont take him anymore to school because we have moved closer to the other primary special school. Both schools can meet his educational needs but my Archie has been at his present school part-time since September 2009 and then full-time since January 2010 after a tribunal said he needed fulltime education in a setting with 70% of his day with a 1-1 otherwise he would regress.

Where does this fit on the EHCP  and getting ready for the new reforms and giving parents control, the reasons behind their decisions on transport is  not good use of resources, that the extra journey time could have significant impact on Archie.

I ask what about the significant impact on moving schools, friendships, teachers, surroundings. Not to forget that after nearly 4 years in this setting he is only just making progress especially with his eye contact, and communication this you can’t put a price on.  The only reason for not giving transport is to save money and I am sorry this just isn’t good enough. This fight I believe will continue because in the long run this could cost 3 times more if my son moves settings and then starts to present with challenging behaviour, he is happy, he is making progress, he has friends is this not what an ordinary life is about and the whole reason behind the new reforms ( http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20130401151715/https://www.education.gov.uk/publications/eOrderingDownload/Green-Paper-SEN.pdf .

Article 8 & Hob Nobs

Reblogged from Love, Belief and Balls:

A lightbulb moment.

Following yesterday's post "Article 8 & Jaffa Cakes", I've had lots of Twitter and Facebook conversations and even phoned the CQC for an opinion. And once again, I've realised that I've bought into something where the reality is very different from the presentation. The whole business of the recording logs is arse about face and I'd fallen for it.

Read more… 897 more words

Living with the unknown ?

I have always had lots of friends in my life and never really felt isolated or lonely, until I had my son Archie on 14th of January 2007. I knew there was something not right I had that feeling but you put your trust in the professionals.

Archie wasn’t a straight forward baby and came with his little problems but I loved him so so much. Time passed and we knew he had special needs and so did everyone else by now, he started special school in September 2009 at the age 2.5 years, and its here I met lots of other mum’s and dads with disabled children, as much as these became a big part of my life and understood what I was going through and some are really true friends now they had answers for their children, well most of them did and I never felt that I didn’t belong to the group however the feeling of not having answers to Archie’s difficulties or reasons for certain behaviours made me feel different.

I found SWAN UK through someone else on face book in summer 2011 and since then I have really made friends where I do belong we all understand the feeling of the unknown and the feeling of more test been negative.

We face together all the uncertainties and find info out we might never of known about, we share our journeys through our blogs ,we talk, cry, laugh,feel each others pain and help each other through the toughest times. Some of our friendships are so strong even though we have never met  we  know when there is just something not right with one another and we no to check into the group to find out. Some of us swan mums have met up or talked about meeting.

SWAN UK means everything to me a lifeline away from the doctors/consultants/hospitals/specialists.  We no longer feel isolated,we belong to a group who just ‘gets’ what we are about and what we are going through – no one else seems to.  I love the fact that we can share the highs and lows of all our journeys, and we don’t have to explain for the millionth time what issues our SWANS have, so SWAN UK means the world to me ( belonging, understanding, sharing happy and sad times – Building friendships and no longer feeling alone). Help spread the awareness of undiagnoised day this saturday by supporting swan uk. Wear pink or blue take a photo and post to facebook or twitter and join in the fun. Here is a little back ground of some of the tests we have been through.

The tests are the hardest things to deal with, they leave you in fear of what may come back, that you just might not cope with the outcome,  the sick feeling you get while you wait the lengthy time for results to come in, praying they find something wrong so they can start treatment, or not find anything, but then the blow comes back they are normal, NORMAL? what is that and whats next? not even a little something ,no abnormality to go with.   we started with the first basic test

bloods = normal

then a more in-depth blood test = normal

we were told the tests were for metabolic disorders and then left to go home, test again came back normal? this was very upsetting for us as a family. My son was like a pin cushion backwards and forwards for more test.

CAT scan  nothing = normal yet again, onto have a MRI nothing, i  excepted that would be the case and was getting used to hearing that word NORMAL , it was obvious my son was “not normal” he wasn’t meeting any of his milestone so wasn’t developing, he had feeding difficulties , his head circumference was growing at alarming rate, and he started treatment for his club foot.

We were refered to genetics to start test with them. First test was more blood, poor child he didn’t give blood very well it clotted very quickly so was very dramatic for all of us. while waiting for result of this test, I had been on the internet searching for answers, looking for a syndrome my child may fit into. I came across Sotos syndrome a overgrowth syndrome, I asked the consultant if we could have a bone age scan as this syndrome you needed to have an advance bone age, This came back as delayed , What does this mean, I was told its has no significance really so yet again NORMAL?.  I later found out when I asked if I could see and read the report that my child at 2 years 2 months, that some of his bones were advanced by 6 months and others were very severely delayed,  but over all there was a severe discrepancy of his birth age and bone age so over all the configuration of the hand and absence of ossification of the thumb was in keeping of a new-born child , WHAT?

Ok appointment came through a few months after the scan , to see the genetics consultant we had to go through everything again, The pregnancy what it was like, the birth, the first few months and then the 2 years with all the test etc. Eventually the first line of investigation started with some of his chromosome’s to be tested  ( karyotype 46xy) = normal. so samples passed on to have another test (karyotype mlpa (po70)x2   this is to see if there is any deletion or duplication of any of the sub-telomeric regions of all 46 chromosomes = normal. We had photos of Archie taken so DRs could look at them and try to see if there where any facial features or body features that could point them in a direction to test next, we went on to have his PTEN gene tested and it was suggested that he also have a full skeletal survey which may give more clues as to whether it could be a storage disorder, 2 conditions in mind where Alexander disease and glutaric acid urea, these tests could take months and months as there was waiting lists. In the mean time we saw an ophthalmologist as he didn’t seem to respond to anything so thought he was blind,

Eventually i had a phone call a year later from genetics to say  his PTEN gene had come back with a normal results this meant he didn’t have (Bannanyan Riley Ruvalcalba) syndrome. We still hadn’t had result for the skeletal survey yet for the other disorders I spoke of earlier.

His name then went on to the list for CGH(comparative genomic hybridisation) test but there is a very long waiting list and funding isn’t always available. Also a sample of DNA  was sent of to Newcastle to test for Fragile x syndrome, this also had come back negative so told again its NORMAL ?. Other test reports came through that had been done alongside all of the others one in particular   (karyotype) mlpa (p245,GATA4, TNKS PPIL2,SMARCB1)x2, This test checks for microdeletions/microduplications  and this too was a normal result.

i had began to give up and just concentrated on making sure he had all the help and support he needed to develop skills, even though we had no answers we knew all the medical terms for his little difficulties that when put together became very complex issues and global development delay and learning difficulties.

  • Large head (macrocephaly)
  • Club foot
  • Constipation
  • Floppy ( hypotonia)
  • Feeding difficulties
  • Small hands
  • Small feet
  • Re accruing chest infections
  • Bronchiolities
  • Abdominal pains
  • Failure to thrive
  • Delayed bone age, at 2 years old his bones were that of a newborn
  • High arched roof of mouth
  • teeth grinder
  • Milk,gluten,wheat intolerance’s  (out grown by 4)
  • short statue  (but now growing)
  • sleeping difficulties
  • possible myoclonic jerks (epilepsy)
  • random out of context laughing (gelastic epilepsy)
  • stable alterative esotropia (squint)

Eventually he went on to have a EEG that also was normal no surprise there then, Test slowed down and we were just monitored  and seen every 3 months,  In december 2011 we got the results of the CGH test and yes you guessed correctly NORMAL?. On the letter it said  ”so in the mean time please keep me informed of any changes with his development and I have now passed you onto the DDD study (Deciphering Developmental Disorders)  I have sent you more information on this thank you”.

I was so fed up of all the normal results when it was very clear my son was not developing like a nuero typical child (normal child)  see i had even learnt the terms of normal and non-normal ( non-nuero typical). so I requested that we got a new peadeiatric consultant , fresh pair of eyes, we went over everything again and how he is now, and decided to repeat bloods due to excessive eating & drinking, also a sleep deprived EEG, test came back ok with bloods but the EEG was ABNORMAL  another blog post , http://swanarchie07.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/normal-all-this-time-then-a-abnormal-11/ so he is now been treated for Epilepsy, We are now at the stage of just waiting to see the out comes of the DDD study and who knows what the future holds, one thing for sure is I found SWAN UK http://www.geneticalliance.org.uk/projects/swan.htm    and now I don’t feel alone anymore.  You can follow me on my blog @  http://swanarchie07.wordpress.com/

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Diagnoised or Undiagnoised yes or no ?

Well not blogged in so long I am not sure if I know how.
These last few months have just gone by so fast and had so much going on I really don’t nowhere to start or what to really write about. Every thing I have been going through really doesn’t matter tonight anymore and things hit a raw nerve with me that we just never really do understand why things happen, having no answers for our children’s disabilities does it really help or not because would I want to know that my child has a life limiting condition  or living without a dignosies is better as this helps me cope and live life without the fear of being parted from my child.
Since it’s the very first national undiagnosed day this weekend April 13th and its all about raising the profile and awareness of swan uk (syndromes without a name)please click and take a look http://www.undiagnosed.org.uk/.

I feel I need to write and talk about my devastating news I have heard tonight but before I share this news I need to tell you a little about the circumstances.

In september 2009 when my little boy Archie started special school I became friends with a big bunch of parents mainly mums of children with special needs, been part of this group I didn’t feel alone as much but it also became clear to me many of these children were diagnosed with some kind of condition or another a small few were undiagnosed but not many and my son was one of these, i started to feel alone again because i was living with the answers of the unknown and tests just kept coming back as clear or normal. I became very close to a mum whose child up until 18 months old had no disability at all and was developing perfectly normal. He caught a sickness and diarrhoea virus just 2 weeks after his 1st birthday and never fully recovered. The doctors said at the time it would take a while to fully recover as it was a nasty virus and he was so young. While visiting friends his mum noticed that he would lose his coordination and balance on the right side, so they decided to take him to the local A&E. They didn’t really know what was wrong, they did lots of tests including blood tests, lumbar puncture, and a CT scan, but the only result they came back with was “it’s a virus”. After several days they discharged them and they went back  home.
They had a follow-up appointment with the local hospital a couple of days later. They took one look at Josh who by now had lost the use of his right arm and was unable to crawl or walk. They said there was something neurologically wrong, so they arranged for more bloods to be taken and for Josh to have an MRI done the very next day. The results of the MRI left the family  dump struck he had suffered some kind of brain damage       Acute Striatal Necrosis.
You can follow his story here    http://www.joshuastrust.co.uk

We had been friends about 18 months when things started to become clear to me that mum wasn’t coping very well and waiting for some over all diagnosis was very difficult. I was struggling myself with not having any answers for my own son and things between us became too intense, I was looking for support from others and needed to understand why the doctors  had no answers for my Archie. She kept saying things nasty and asking why I was fighting all the time since my son wasn’t as disabled as hers, this hurt very much and caused a lot of tension between us and for my own family other stuff went on  between us that I would really not like to go into in this blog because that is the past and I have dealt with this. We are no longer friends but tonight I have heard the most devastating news that her son Joshua passed away this afternoon. I really can’t imagine the pain the family are going through right now.
I am finding it difficult too we spent many happy times altogether at their home with celebrations etc and  Josh was one amazing little man who has been through so much in his short life and always had a smile on his face. I know until last year he didn’t have a full diagnosis only small little pieces of the jigsaw puzzle and maybe things might have been different for the family and if Josh had the support he needed earlier things might not have been has difficult, or even bitter between us  if the family hadn’t had to fight for a quality of life Joshua deserved.

Tonight I want to ring her, I want to cry with her, I want to share and take away her pain but most of all I want her to know just because we are no longer close friends and things got  so bad between us I am thinking off her and the family at this very sad time , I am sending my thoughts and pray’s and no matter what happened between us I loved Joshua and he amazed me every day when we were part of his life.
UNDIAGNOISED DAY feels so important even more so tonight
night night sleep tight
JOSHUA MARTINA HOPKINS xxxxx R.I.P

Hubs, Inclusion Champions & Other Shit Like That

Reblogged from Love, Belief and Balls:

I receive regular updates of the development of my local Parents/Carers Reference Group, which is made up of several social care professionals and parents and carers. I think it is an offshoot of the Learning Disabilities Partnership Board. The minutes of the meetings are fascinating and there are three things that strike me; in the current climate of hubs that go straight to the hub of where everything in social care is severely askew.

Read more… 748 more words

SWAN TOUR !!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUMMIES NIGHT OUT ( Birmingham 23rd Feb 2013)

This weekend I went away with a bunch of mums I have been friends with on-line since I joined the swan UK face book back in 2011. I had the time of my life and can’t believe how close we really all are. Living without a diagnoses for my son has been difficult but without the support of all the mums, dads & grandparents of swan UK the world would have been much scarier. Meeting them all in person is so much more real and chatting about our experiences was just amazing I didn’t want it to end, I really know now I am not alone and I have people I will be friends with for life. Here is poem one of the mums made up on her way home to Scotland  brilliant xx2013-02-23 19.57.06
Oh what a night!
Swan mummies out in Birmingham
Lots of good chat and tons of fun
Oh swan mummies, what a night!
 Oh what a night
Drinks at premier inn and hoodies galore
Off to Jamie’s where they knew the score
Lots of swan hoodies, what a night!
Oh what a night
Got all lost when we hit the clubs
Flares or reflex or just stay in the pub?
Drunk swan mummies, what a night!
Oh what a night
Back together where the floors were sticky
Lots of laughter and taking the mickey
Very drunk mummies, what a night!
Oh what a night
Emma Murphy what an amazing effort
A lot of mummies you did sort
Now for hangovers, what a night!
Oh what a night!
Sorry not everyone was able to come
Hopefully you’ll make the next one and have lots of fun
Manchester, york, Scotland, london here’s to the next SWAN night !!!
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my journey my way parent particapation

Hello my name is Patsy Beverley and I am the parent of a 6yr old boy called Archie, he has complex needs and is still undiagnosed with a genetic condition we belong to the swan family ( syndromes without a name) SWAN UK is a project run by genetic alliance uk. You can follow them here http://www.undiagnosed.org.uk/
I have come long way since having Archie and i want to share my journey with you and how been a member of a parent forum can really help you get your voice heard and help shape the personalisation gender in your own LA. Been part of the pilot & changes in my own LA have really turned mine and also my husband’s way of thinking to be more positive, most of all it has for certain stopped Archie my son falling into the system and becoming a number rather than a person. This may seem harsh but in reality it isn’t.
Back in June 2010, I had the privilege to be part of a course called sharing knowledge (partners in policymaking) I never thought this would change mine and other parents/carers way of thinking about their disabled child or young person, And not for one minute did I ever think I would be working for myself helping other parents & carers the same way I have been helped. This all started with me volunteering my time to the forum and participating in coffee mornings & then small steering groups on smaller issues that affected mine and other families lives. Time passed by and eventually we ended up taking part in the pilot of Individual budgets in children’s social care and got a personal budget and it is the best thing I could have done really.
Personalisation can and does get very mixed up and if it isn’t delivered correctly results in failing. Some people really don’t understand the real value of personalisation and before any of it can work parents/carers need to be given the right tools to prepare for it before they are offered or even considering taking on a personal budget.
For me I knew this was the way forward but how would I get there?
I got there by having the support of, powerful people in my life that put their faith in what they believed in, and in return gained my trust, this happened because there were strong values, strong parent participation and help for families to get through the tough times right from the heart.
So in November 2010 the pilot began. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, I had heard about them but didn’t really understand much about them. I was excited and also nervous about what this would entail for us as a family. This was an emotional process and very stressful time but without Katie and some other amazing people to support me through the process I wouldn’t be stood here today talking about how important it is to start with first and for most the person and their families and encourage parent participation because after all its us parents that know what our children and young people need to support them through their journey and achieve their goals in life. If that means being in control of their own individual budget then they need to be equipped and be able to acquire the skills that will allow them to achieve their hopes and aspirations for the future and then design the support and services around this to achieve the outcomes they want to achieve.
The real value of being able to tell my story is because of the work and support of a very special lady Katie Clarke, and the work she has done over the last 12 years in my LA is truly invaluable. As an organisation parent/carer forums can achieve and grow in strength and eventually families will put their trust in the forum. Archie is very young and this pilot has helped me to believe that he will reach his full potential as he will have support to do this, and also not to be afraid of being able to dream about what we as Archie’s carers want for him in his life.
We had a P.A.T.H done (positive alternatives tomorrow with hope) the PATH process is very emotional and for the first time it’s about the person and not the services, this is empowering and should never be underestimated, it also gives you a visual tool to keep looking back at and see how far you have moved forward and the things you have achieved, this also keeps you very focussed and positive about the next steps you want to take.
The end result is the budget!!!!! But it’s not everything,
It’s only the roof on the house
But before that we need to start with the correct foundations and not rocky foundations!
Foundations need to be strong in the first place to be able to continue on the journey without them if you continued to carry on and struggle through you would lose sight of the most important thing in life (the person in question) if we don’t think and act now at the start of our journeys of personalisation and implement the support needed to help parents/carers with emotional support and practical support to build their resilience so they can be strong enough to reach the goals and aspirations of their children and young people, then when they do reach the top and receive the budget things will just start to fall and collapse around them.
Grass roots and up is what I heard a lot of
Emotional wellbeing of the family or the person in?
Resilience Building
Support
Trust
Faith
Empowerment
Not to be judged
This takes time and no time can be put on people’s life’s as we all work very differently. This can only be achieved with parent participation, Local Authorities listening to parent/carers training care compassion and experienced facilitator’s that will bring the best out of the individuals, also by us all been part of our community and the wider community ,and working in partnership with everybody and all services this will be made easier and more successful.
Archie’s PATH took place on the 12th of February 2011 and Archie and we as a family achieved the targets set on his plan within a year this would not have been achievable without the emotional support of Katie and her colleagues helping me with this. It is a working assessment but the difference about this assessment is, it is very positive and it’s all around the person, and everybody gets invited to come along who the family feel will make a positive contribution to the plan and talk about what’s important to them and not what they can’t do or what’s available or not available in terms of service’s and support.
So as I was once told by a lady called Lynne Elwell from partners in policy making, get rid of those bad fairies in your life the ones that stress you and cause you more problems and keep the good fairies that keep you positive and help you through the tough times.